Domestic violence / Domestic abuse
Relationships involve love, trust and respect. Sometimes one or both partners in a relationship can begin to lose trust in each other, and what starts out seeming like intense feelings of love, care or concern, turn into excessive jealously and controlling behaviour. Asking where you are all the time, controlling your access to money “for your own good” or stopping you from seeing your friends because your partner wants you to spend all your time with him or her, are not signs of affection, but are often signs of control and manipulation leading to abuse. Sometimes the abuse may be less obvious, but may involve your partner creating an atmosphere of fear, intimidation and unpredictable behaviour, which makes you feel like you’re going crazy, but you can’t quite figure out why.
Read Maya’s story of living in an abusive relationship:
Domestic violence or domestic abuse
Domestic violence or domestic abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional.Your partner may control all the finances or money, making you dependent on them (financial abuse) or your partner may stop you from seeing your friends or family or from even having a job (social abuse).The abuser uses these behaviours to control you and get what they want. Domestic abuse can be scary because if often involves someone you love and are currently living with. Often you may wonder if it is ever going to stop or feel like there is no way out.
Do women abuse men?
Although the majority of reported cases of physical abuse are men who have abused women, some women also abuse men, and any type of physical behaviour that a women does to a man that leaves marks or causes pain, involves emotional belittling, or trying to financially or socially control a man is also abuse.
If you are experience domestic violence or abuse, it is important to remember that no one has the right to hurt you or be violent towards you.You should know that you are not alone and help is available.
How to help someone who is or you suspect may be abused
Someone who is or has suffered from abuse needs to have you listen to them and believe what they say. They may be afraid to tell you or anyone for fear it will put pressure on them to end the relationship they are in. Those who have been abused often feel like it is their fault, that they had asked for it, that they deserve it or they don’t deserve a better life. This is not the case. No one ever deserves to be abused for any reason.
It is important to offer someone who has been abused your patience, support, concern and understanding. However, it is also important to encourage them to get immediate help. Someone who is or has experience abuse has a serious problem that they cannot resolve on their own and they need to seek professional help.
If you are currently experiencing abuse or know someone who is, you should know that help is available. Did you realise research has shown that the relationship between you and your counsellor is one of the most important elements for a successful outcome? How do you know if the counsellor you find will be the best fit for you?
Select Counsellors provides a unique client counsellor matching service to ensure you see the right counsellor for you, first time. We have a pool of highly trained Sydney based counsellors, psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists and will match you with the right therapist based on important information collected in a personalised assessment about you and your needs. At Select Counsellors our key priority is Finding you the One. To book an assessment click here or call on 1300 123 680 to speak in person with a Select Counsellor.
Click on the links below to find out more information on abuse:
The Helpful Guide